Jija sali ke jokes in hindi

Ek mahila ki aankh suji thi,

Padosan- kya hua ?

Mahila- Mere pati ne mara,

Padosan - Lakin mera khyaal tha ki tumhare pati mumbai gaye hua hai,

Mahila - Mere bhi yahi khyaal tha !


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Sohan- Meri lakdi ki taang mujhe bahut dukh de rahi hai,

Ramu- Kamaal hai lakdi ki taang tumhe kaise dukh de sakti hai,

Sohan- Aaj meri biwi ne weh taang mere sirr par maar di !


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Teacher- mujhe heraani haiki tum akele itni saari galtiyaan karte ho !

Ladka- Yeh saari galtiyaan meine akele nahi ki sir,

mere papa ne bhi isme meri shayata ki hai !

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Kabhi Socha ?

Sasural me damad ko sabse jayada samman kyo milta hai?

Kyuki wo jante hai ki yahi weh mahan aadmi hai jisne unke ghar ki

toofan ko sambhal rakha hai !


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Teacher- Pappu tumne aaj phir apna homework nahi kiya,

bolo tumhe kya saja du.....

Pappu - Teacher woh mere bagal wali ladki ne bhi nahi kiya,

hum dono ko bathroom mein band kar do !

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Ek patni ki nazar mein.......

Duniya ka sabse mahaan aadmi- uske papa

Duniya ka sabse dukhi aadmi- uska bhai

Duniya ka sabse kismatwala aadmi- uski bahen ka pati

Duniya ka sabse jhoota, kanjoosh aur badtameez aadmi- batane ki jaroorat hai?

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Arrange marriage ki ek sateek paribhasa !

" Bika hua maal wapas nahi hoga"

Aur Love marriage ki !

" Pehle istamal kare phir vishwash kare" !

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Ek ladki ne pappu ki awaj lagai... oh bhai jaan kripya suniye toh jara...

Pappu bola : Oye heroin !  pehle faisla kar bhai ya jaan,

confuse kyu kar rahi hai !

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Kisi ka haath thaam kar chodna nahi,

Wada kisi se karo toh todna nahi,

koi agar tod de dil apka toh usko..

4-5 laat mare  bina chodna nahi..

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Papa : Nalayak itni raat ki kha se aa raha hai ?

Bholu : Apni girlfriend se milne gaya tha....

Papa : Kish liye ?

Bholu: Ha papa, 7-8 toh kish le hi liye !

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Atmahatyein do tarah ki hoti hai !

---Pahli---

(Tej aur asaan !)

Gale mein rassi dalo aur

pankhe se latak jao !!

---Dusri----

(Dhimi aur dardnak)

Gale mein warmala dalo aur

Zindgi bhar latke raho !!

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Pyaar ho jaye ya maccher kaate anjaam ek hi hota hai....

Socho kya  ?

Raat ko neend nahi aati

Thoko Taali

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Yeh julfe hai tumhari ya resham ke jaal,

Yeh julfe hai tumhari ya resham ke jaal,

Kitne khushnaseeb hai woh chuhe,

Jinhone katre tumhare baal !

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Aap hamare dil mein kuch ish tarah sama gaye ho,

Aap hamari zindgi mein kuch ish tarah aa gaye ho,

Jaise hare bhare khet mein kuch saand ghush haye ho....
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Yeh jo aag mere ish dil  mein hai

use jamaane ko laga dunga....

Agar tune ki kisi aur se shaadi..

    toh
    toh

toh kya , hansome hu

Dusri pata lunga..


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Ek cute se bacche ko dekh kar ek ladki ne uske gaal pe kiss kar diya...

Ladki : I AM SORRY, apke gaal pe LIPSTICK lag gayi..

Baccha : IT' S OK BABY

"kuch accha karne se agar daag lagte hai toh daag acche hai "

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Ladka (Ladki se) : Mein 18 saal ka hu aur tum ?

Ladki : Mein bhi 18 saal ki hu !

Ladka : Toh phir chal na, sharmana kya ?

Ladki : Kha?

Ladka : Vote dene...!