Comedy Nights With Kapil Jokes

Baarish ke mausam me kya apka jee machalta hai,

Kya paani me bhigne ka bhi apka dil karta hai,

Isme aapki galti nahi hai,

Ish mausam me har Mendhak aise hi fudakta hai....


Thoko Taliyaan.....

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 Kapil wife : Ghar mein namak khatam ho gaya hai,

Khaane mein kya banau ?

Kapil : Thoda toothpaste daal do, usme namak hai !

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Kapil : Soch raha hu USA ghoom aun, free mein,

Sharukh : Free mein kaise jayega ?

Kapil : Sochne ke paise thodi lagte hai !!

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Ajay : AUTOMATICALLY  ka matlab kya hota hai bhai ?

Kapil : Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahi pata !

Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hai

AUTO-ME-TAKLI

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Palak : Arj kiya hai

Tum se nazar milate hi bhadak uthe mere dil mein

mohabbat ke shole,

Ole Ole Ole, Ole Ole Ole !

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Kapil : Tu itna bada ho gaya hai ,

aur abhi tak tujhe daadhi-mooch nahi aaye ?

Naukar : Main bilku apni  Maa par gaya huun !

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Imran Khan :- Pehle mein apni wife ko B.A. karwaunga,

Phir M.A. phir PHD karwaunga,

Phir badhiya si naukri dilwaunga..

Kapil :- Phir acchaa sa rishta dekh kar uski shaadi bhi karwa dena....!


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Dadi :- Teri aur bahu ki jodi toh 'Ram - Sita' ki jodi hai,

Kapil :- Kahan Dadi ! Na toh yeh dharti mein samati hai, na hi ise,

Koi Rawan le jata hai !


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Kapil :- Aarz kiya hai... Daaru peene walo kabhi lassi bhi piya karo,

Priyanka Chopra :- Wah Wah !!!  Wah Wah !!!

Kapil :- Free mein post padhne walo kabhi like Comment bhi kiya karo...!!


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Kapil :- Tere baap ki jale par namak chidkne ki aadat gayi nahi na ?

Wife :- Kyu? ab kya hua ?

Kapil :- Aaj phir se phuch raha tha ''Meri beti se shaadi karke khush toh ho na ?''


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Aarz kiya hai....

Aaj kal ki ladkiya husn pe naaz karti hai,

Grammar toh aata nahi , aur English mein baat kati hai !


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Maine apne watchman se poocha

duty ke time sharaab kyu pee rahe ho ?

woh Bola , Kyuki security tight honi chaiye !


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Kapil to Sharukh kahan :- Kaisi hai tumhari biwi ?

Sharukh khan :- Swarg ki apsara jaisi aur tumhari biwi ?

Kapil :- Meri toh abhi zinda hai !


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Wife :- Mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumne le chalo !

Kapil :- Chalo tyaar ho jayo petro pump chalte hai !


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Dadi :- Bittu ! tumne apni purani naukri kyu chod di ?

Bittu:- Dadi ! company ne apni office badal di, aur mujhe bataya nahi kaha par !